


a dog and his toy

by outphan



Series: Toto-verse [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dildos, Dogs, Humor, M/M, No Smut, Sex Toys, double ended dildos, in case youre wondering, this is not a furry fic sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 23:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15302613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outphan/pseuds/outphan
Summary: Dan and Phil vs their dog and a double-ended dildo.





	a dog and his toy

**Author's Note:**

> what is this fic? it's rated m because of the description of sex toys, but there's no smut in this!  
> unbetad
> 
> written for phandomficfests sex toys flash fest

On a quiet evening in July, Dan and Phil are sitting in their living room, watching the TV. It’s a docu reality they found on a channel that seems semi-interesting. Mostly-eaten Chinese is in front of them on the coffee table and they’re snuggled into each other.

Somewhere in the house, Toto is doing things a 7-month-old puppy does. He is usually sleeping between them or in their laps (with his 50-something pounds) when they’re having a night in. But lately he’s been going through a phase (‘Teenagers, am I right?’, Dan’d say) where he likes to be independent and get into trouble. 

“This is boring,” Dan says as he reaches for the remote but Phil takes it before Dan could get to it. “Hey!”

“Snoozers losers. Besides, I’m watching this.”

“You’re no fun.”

And that’s when they hear a noise of something falling coming from the bedrooms. Dan’s the first one on his feet, running down the hall with Phil following him.

The first clue he finds is their bedroom door open. They now close all the doors so that Toto doesn’t repeat the Big Pooping Incident of 2019. But the door is open so Dan immediately starts sniffing the air.

“No poop this time, I don’t think,” he says to Phil.

The second clue he finds is the open door of the bedside cabinet.

“Where are you, Toto?”

Dan furrows his brows as he looks around the bed but he doesn’t see the dog. “You didn’t leave treats there, did you?”

“No, not this time.” Dan gives him a look. “I swear I didn’t. But I might’ve left that door open.”

“Toto, where are you, baby?”

And that’s when Toto comes out from the ensuite bathroom with something purple and long in his mouth. He runs out of the room, happily wagging his tail. Dan and Phil share a look as they slowly realise what’s happening.

“Philip Michael Lester! Did you leave the bedside table door open and did the dog just steal our double-ended dildo?” Phil, instead of answering, runs after Toto. “Oh my fucking god,” Dan says to himself as he leaves to deal with the situation.

The living room soon turns into a battlefield. Toto is in the middle of the room, with the bright purple (and sparkly!) dildo in his mouth, chewing it a bit. Phil is on the other side, standing behind the sofa, but he’s ready to jump into action. If he moves to one side, Toto will move the other direction. The little bastard is enjoying this.

“Would you help me or something?” Phil looks at Dan, pleading. As awkward and embarrassing this situation is, it’s also stupidly ridiculous. “Dan!”

“A’ight, fine.” Dan positions himself, trying to corner Toto. To the dog, the sex toy is the best toy he’s ever had and he doesn’t seem to want to give it up. 

Phil makes a move, but Toto runs away, still carrying the piece of rubber. He shakes his head and the ends hit his ears. That just seems to energise him more, shaking it more and more. Dan uses it to run to him, grabbing one end of it, trying to get it from his mouth. But now it turns into a game of tug of war.

Phil jumps in, trying to pull Toto away, but he starts growling, clearly liking the game. “Ah you stupid dog, let go!” Phil says, but there’s no use. As clever as Golden Retrievers are, Toto is quite stubborn, only hearing the commands he wants to hear. “Do you wanna go for a walk?” Toto moves his ears, he’s clearly listening now. “Toto, if you let go, you can get treats!”

And he does let go of it with a smack, forgetting about the toy. Dan yanks it away quickly, lifting it so Toto definitely cannot get to it. In the process, he touches the chewed part.

“Ew, that’s disgusting!” he says, wiping his hands on his shorts.

Phil, scratching the top of Toto’s had, gives Dan a look. “Dog saliva is probably not the worst bodily fluid that thing’s ever seen.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr [@outphan](http://outphan.tumblr.com).  
> if you liked this give it a quick like/reblog [here](http://outphan.tumblr.com/post/175922389979/a-dog-and-his-toy).


End file.
